Never Letting Go
by Al Bhed- Pypa
Summary: LightxL fluff... Light realizes that he and L are not as different as he thought before.


_Dedicated to: to my friend Emily, for your new found fandom of LightxL of Death Note, enjoy!_

**AN/ first death note fic…. Yay for LightxL fluff… there's not a lot so here ya go!! Please review!!!**

Handcuffs

A single chain connecting the two of us together. Despite the act being voluntary from both sides it felt more like a punishment then anything I had gone through. The prison I had managed with no problem. Alone with my thoughts was a place I could be for a long period of time without succumbing to madness. Any interrogation thrown my way I could shake off as if it was a simple conversation between two strangers. But this, this was different. He is always there. I can't escape him. That metal link that held us at its mercy was taunting me. If I stood to leave, search for an alone place with my thoughts, he has no choice but to come with me. Silently following me, always watching. Those dark eyes boring into my back as if looking for an answer. Hoping that some part of me will give away who I really am, give him the answer he is searching for, give him some closure. That is the point I assume. So that I am never alone. A killer cannot commit a murder if the detective is always at his back. He believes this so strongly, and won't give up till he finds the Kira. Or until he proves it is me. I suppose that is what he really wants; his deep want is for it to be me, to give him some satisfaction of knowing that the only one who matches his intellect gave in to such a weakness as power craving, putting him on a higher level then me. But I won't let it happen. We can't remain linked forever.

5:38am.

The bright neon numbers shine, they are the only light in the room. I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I can't sleep. Between the metal cuff at my wrist, the light from the clock and the constant click of the spoon on the tea glass as the man linked to me stirs endless cubes of sugar into his glass, I have found my self unable to sleep. I sit up. Over the week that I have been handcuffed to the man I have never seen him sleep. He is sitting there at the edge of the bed, hunched as he is now when I fall asleep, and is awake in the same position the next morning when I awake. Does he sleep less then me? Or not at all? If he is this serious about catching me that he wont even sleep at night in case I kill someone then I have half a mind to just come forward now an tell him. Let him out of his misery.

"You're not going to sleep?"

I can't resist asking. I don't receive an answer. He just sits there, stirring. The sound is almost rhythmic. If I didn't know any better I would have thought he was in a trance but this how he always is. Finally he spoke. His eyes never left the cup on the bed side table and his head was tilted ever so slightly to the left as he stirred.

"I don't need to sleep. Besides, even if I did the chances of you being Kira are still high. And the chances of you acting as Kira as I sleep are even higher. So until I am satisfied that you are innocent you must be watched at all times"

His voice seemed distant. It always did, but this time more so then usual. But, my suspicions were confirmed none the less. As long as I was a suspect he wouldn't sleep. I knew if I bothered asking about the cameras he would then proceed to give me an explanation about how I could alter footage, or find an angle that couldn't be seen. So I kept my mouth shut but stayed sitting.

"If you're going to sit there all night, I'll sit with you. The idea of sleeping while someone is watching creeps me out."

I move to the bed side with him. The metal chain is limp between as and hangs slightly off the side of the bed. He began to answer. I assumed it was going to be a protest so I waved my hand to stop him from answering. He obliged, but stared at me instead. He had a way of staring that made you want to just confess everything on the spot. His dark eyes seemed endless, and the gloomy bags around them made you unable to look away. I avoided his gaze, but I could feel its burning stare. I knew I had to say something. Something to stop the staring. I would spark a conversation. Something related to things other then investigation and Kira. It was then a realized I knew virtually nothing about this man. Despite being linked together we never really ever talked, besides work related things. Other then that we just stayed silent. We were both such individual people that we felt it unnecessary to relate to each other in any way, hence why this felt like such a punishment, a capture.

"So… you don't seem to socialize much… ever have a girlfriend?"

I knew my question was out of the blue. I didn't know what else to say. He had mentioned before that I was his first friend, but I didn't know if he had ever loved before. I expected the delayed answer again. The long drawn out words, and a long explanation of something. But I got an immediate reaction. And straight forward too.

"No. never had time, and was never interested."

I thought this over in my head. He had missed out on love? I had girlfriends in the past. I knew what lust was like, but I too didn't know love. All the girls I had met never seemed right. If they were pretty they were unintelligent, if they were smart they were dull, if they were cheery they couldn't be trusted. The only one I knew who matched me in intellect, and personality the closest was the man sitting beside me. I looked at him, seeing him in almost a new light. Not the enemy I had grown to create, but someone like me. With the same talents, and downfalls. Dreams and shortcomings as me. I felt myself comparable to him. This was ridiculous. All the times I had planned when to kill him and now I was feeling sorry for him. I turned to him, to tell him something that proved I wasn't as friendly as I felt inside, but instead found myself pushing my lips against his. That wasn't my plan, yet now I couldn't bring myself to move. I let my thoughts be chased from my mind by instinct and closed my eyes and brought myself closer to him. I could feel him tense, but as time passed he relaxed and even kissed me back. Using the arm that wasn't chained I pulled him closer to me. I broke off the kiss and pulled him into an embrace. He rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. I smiled; lifting my hand I wrapped the chain around his wrist three times then took his hand. I didn't want to let go of him, of this moment, of my realization.

I didn't hate L

I loved him

And I was never letting go.


End file.
